To my surprise, something changed in me over the last few months or so. I started to get a little a lot baby hungry. Why did this happen to me you ask? Well on my facebook I have had dozens of friends get preggers, or having babies. Why did this change my feeling of having my own kids? Well all of their posts were so happy and full of joy! They posted dozens and dozens of pictures of how beautiful and sweet their babies are (trust me, they are ALL so beautiful and adorable). They posted all the exciting movements of their baby bellies and how they could feel so many things from the precious baby growing inside them. After seeing these kinds of post for a few consecutive months, it started to make me want all of those things for myself! I finally saw all the great and positive things/rewards of being a mother, and not all the craziness I saw everywhere I went. I realized I had been focusing on all the wrong things. My view when I see babies and kids out in public have completely changed. I only see how beautiful and fun they are! Not the other stuff I had only been noticing before. (Yes, I know kids will always have their moments! ha ha)
With all that said, I know I want to be a mother. I know it is my right, and my heavenly duty to be a mother. I would love to start having my own babies, and sooner rather than later. I know that being pregnant isn't easy and a lot comes with it, a lot that I do not know! I want to be educated, I just don't know where to start! I want to learn everything! If there are books that you recommend, I want to know about them! If there are articles you have read and recommend, I want to now about them! If you have personal experience/thoughts, I want to know about them! I want to know your thoughts, opinions, and experiences on natural birth (no epidurals or pain meds, etc) verses a hospital medicated birth (meaning pain killers, epidurals, that sort of thing). I know deciding which kind of birth I want to have is all based on my own personal preference, but I want to be educated on both so I can make the best decision for me when the time comes. It is so important to me that I know all that I can about being pregnant and expecting a baby. When I say I don't know anything about it, I literally mean I know NOTHING about it! And that scares me! I don't want to go into it blind! What can you mothers, and expecting mothers out there give me for advise? I honestly want to hear what you all have to say!
Where any of you worried about your financial situation when it came to having your first child? Obviously you want to be as stable as you can, but what are your thoughts/feelings about that topic? I know my husband is worried about it, and I want to be able to get him some advise as well! What kind of insurance do you have to get when having a baby (see, I know nothing!)? Do you have to get it before you start or can you get it after you find out your expecting? I'm so overwhelmed about how naive and uneducated I am! I just have so many questions! I'm sorry this is kind of all over the place, but I just have to make sure I get it all in here!
Please share anything you can/want with me! Tell your friends, sisters, moms, even the men to share what they know! Seriously, I want as much education as I can! Thank you in advance for all that you share! I know this isn't a traditional blog post, but I need the help! It means so much to me to know everything I can, and I appreciate all the help and support from all of you!
Very interesting perspective Rachel! All I know is... it's a righteous desire to have kids and the Lord will ALWAYS provide for us when we do His will. And no one will ever be 100% ready to have kids just like no one will ever be ready to get married, serve a mission, etc. And also I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love my baby and just to feel that amount of love for someone is worth anything hard! hope that helps miss you xoxo
ReplyDeleteObviously I am not the expert on being a parent but I have worked with children. All people; young, old, boy, girl is going to have their moments when they act out. I have had my share of tantrums and I can recall a couple occasions when you had yours. Don't let that freak you out, it is going to happen no matter what.
DeleteSecond thought, our Relief Society talked a lot about motherhood yesterday and I wish I had taken notes because they had great thoughts. One of the things that we talked about was how a mother has the role of caring for her children and raising them to be strong in the gospel. I think a lot of people are scared to have children because they don't want to bring them into the world that is so horrible and corrupt. Within the walls of your own home is where your children will learn the things that will help them make the best choices they can. Don't let the crap world we live in freak you out a lot. You both are strong people and I can see your little kids growing up strong in the gospel.
I know that has nothing to do with the pregnancy stuff but those are my thoughts about raising children.
So...I'm still currently pregnant so I can't really give you advise on actual parenting, but I know lots about pregnancy!! I am a research addict, and this has been something that I have researched before and during my whole pregnancy! Pregnancy is wonderful and scary all at the same time. I think a good place to start is buying a book about pregnancy. There are a lot out there, and you can get them anywhere. I really liked the Mayo clinic's guide to a healthy pregnancy. It talks about pregnancy and also a few other things in your life that will change with babies. I also joined a baby community where they send an email every week explaining what is happening that week with your pregnancy. It also goes over lots of other topics that many people have questions on. There's also blogs on there someone will have a question and other moms answer with their experience. It answered a lot of my questions. My suggestion with research though is to keep it positive. Looking into everything that can go wrong will just make you anxious and scared, where the majority of the time everything is going to be great. Last thing I'd suggest is to ask your family about their experiences with pregnancy, chances are yours might be similar, but probably not the exact same.
ReplyDeleteNow when it comes time for having a baby I think you really need to decide what you feel comfortable with between natural and medicated. My husband and I are doing hypnobirthing, and are planning to do natural. But definitely do your research on things. Make sure you decide what you actually believe and what as opposed to what people tell you. You can have the exact birth you want, and that should be your goal-not just a healthy baby. I would highly suggest looking into Hypnobirthing- it has already helped us with our pregnancy, and I'm actually looking forward to labor instead of dreading it. And I feel like that's how it should be.
The biggest thing I've noticed about my pregnancy, is that even though there's lots of things I have found out and things that I know, there are still questions that I have. Find a doctor that is willing to sit down and go over things with you instead of just rushing through. This will be your first pregnancy and such a life changing event for you, you want and need someone that will be supportive and patient with you the entire way through. I wish you the best of luck, and am excited you are starting this journey!!
First of all, it is still crazy to me that you are old enough to be married AND thinking about having kids. I still just picture you as my little 13 year old cousin. But then I remember that I am like 30 and so you really can't be 13 anymore.
ReplyDeleteI really thought that I would have one child and then be done. I didn't really like kids. I hated babysitting. I just thought that I would have one and be good. But then you hold that baby, YOUR baby, in your arms and it is just so wonderful. The amount of love that you can have for a little person that you just met is so amazing! And being a mom is wonderful. Really wonderful. My one baby turned into four babies. I NEVER thought that I would have four kids!
As wonderful as being a mom is, it is also the hardest job in the world. You can't even imagine until you are doing it, but I think that is why it is go great. Aren't the hardest things also the most rewarding?!
I also had a list of things that my kids "would never do." Misbehaving in church and at retaurants and at stores were all on my list. But guess what? They will do it. They all do it. I am sure that you did it once. And really, it isn't so bad. I am to the point, after many tantrums in public, that it is actually quite comical. For reals. Of course, if I am somewhere like church or a restaurant where people could be bothered by my child's outburst then I will take them out, but I have also been known to pull out my phone and record my child as they are lying on the floor of the grocery store throwing a fit. Sometimes it really is just funny. You will have plenty of moments as a mother where your patience will be tried to its breaking point, and then you will have moments when your sweet 2 year old grabs your face and says,"Mommy, I love you so much." Your heart will melt and you will know that all those hard times are worth it in the end.
I loved Sarah's comment. You have a very wise sister! :) Motherhood is noble work. It is a very scary world, but the greatest work you will ever do will be in the walls of your own home. There are many talks given in conference about raising children in this scary world. But when you are doing the work of the Lord, you will have his guidance, love, and protection.
And apparently I have lots to say because I couldn't fit it all in one comment.
ReplyDeleteAs for pregnancy and birth, everybody is different. It is great to read the books and know all the details, but you really could be totally different from all the books and from all your friends. Every single one of my pregnancies were different from each other. They had similarities and differences. I have a few pregnancy and even first year of baby's life books that you are welcome to come and get if you would like. I have read them so many times I probably have them memorized. :) They really are great to read. Really, come get them. Come spend an afternoon with me and I will talk your ear off about pregnancy, child birth, and parenting.
All of your fears and worries are totally normal. I really think that everyone worries about those things. You have never experienced anything like this and really, no one can prepare you for it. You figure it out as you go along. And you are right, you want to be as financially stable as possible, but the money always works itself out. If you have insurance, talk to your provider and find out if you have maternity coverage and what it covers.
As for birth, you and only you can decide what kind of birth you want. Research your options and do what feels best. Each time I got pregnant after the first I said that I was going to go natural. I never did it. I always went into labor and never understood why I would want to feel the pain of childbirth when I didn't have to. For me I was much more relaxed and able to enjoy the moment when I was pain free. I never had any complications or problems with epidurals. But that being said, I also have many friends that love the hypnobirthing.
I don't know if anything that I said helped at all, but I would be more than happy to answer any questions you ever have!
You sound pretty normal Rachel. Starting a family is a HUGE decision to make. It's nice to know that you are taking it seriously and want to do the right thing. You have some of the most amazing mother's to follow after. First, your mom. Then there are Grandma Simpson and Grandma Ahlberg. I wish you could have been older to know Aunt Sylvia more. She is also a mother my thoughts refer to quite often. I have absolutely no doubt that you will be an amazing, loving and devoted mother. You are also blessed with a very attentive husband who as far as I can tell, will be a "hands on" father as well. You are a lucky girl.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to take a leap of faith and know that whatever comes your way will be what will help you grow. I would never change my stillbirth and two miscarriages for anything. Your children will help you become a better person. You learn love like no other and you will be loved like no other. Your relationship with Brian will grow even stronger as you work together to raise those cute little Shriver kids! Good luck with your decisions! You'll do great! It will be the best roller coaster ride you will ever have! You'll want to ride it over and over and each ride will be better than what you ever expected! Love ya!! Julie